The Heisman is over...

The Heisman is over. It’s done. It used to be an award celebrating the one guy on the battlefield that was pure hell to fight. It was given to the guys that stuck around long enough to write their legend. Achilles got one. Hector got an honorable mention.

Then they stopped giving it to linebackers. They stopped giving it to people who hit people and in American football, you hit people. Hard. What is this award about?

Why do we have a Heisman if it’s just about yards rushed? We have a Doak Walker for that. Why do we have a Heisman if it’s just about how many yards you throw? There’s a Davey O’Brien for that. If there’s a Heisman, why is there a Maxwell?

Why are there three hundred bowls and computers picking our champions. Shouldn’t the players have a say in this? They make champions like they make Twinkies. With machines.

It used to be that unless you were Archie Griffin, you didn’t win as an underclassmen. Now, two years in a row it goes to freshman and it goes to them because they play in a spread everyone out, run plays so fast the defense doesn’t get lined up offensive scheme designed to pad the stats of the quarterback. An offensive scheme indeed.

Where are the monsters and why aren’t we celebrating them? They keep changing rules to protect the quarterback, but the Heisman says they’re doing just fine. They are just protecting their stats.

The Heisman isn’t even an indicator of success anymore. Anyone still have a Tebow jersey?

There’s a reason people still remember Dick Butkus. There’s a reason we need a Butkus award. We need to celebrate the monsters. We need to celebrate the pissed off alligators doing barrel roles in between you and where you want to go. We need to hail the boxers that won’t leave the middle of the ring.

That’s where the battle is. Butkus winners don’t dance. Except on your cemetery plot they dug after you tried a half-ass off tackle run on 1^st down. Enjoy 2^nd down.

The Heisman is over. The Butkus hit it so hard it retired. If you want to celebrate a bunch of glass jawed, twelve tool athletes, go to the ballet. Butkus winners have one tool and it’s some form of mental defect that doesn’t allow them to feel like they’ve eaten enough running back. Throw out their shoe contract. They’ll be covered in dirt and you won’t see the logo anyway.

You have to look at the stats to justify who deserves the Heisman. If you want to know who deserves a Butkus, just ask a few running backs.

The Heisman is over and if you don’t think so, start learning who plays for Tottenham Hotspur and Paris St. Germain because they are turning American football into soccer, and well, they’re better at soccer than we are.

If you like the football your grandfather played after winning World War II, start telling people who won the Butkus Award because if you draft that person, you are going to have better Sundays.

If not, Manchester City is playing Manchester United in a league with no playoffs in a rivalry game called a derby that’s pronounced “darby”. That’s what’s next in the land of Heisman.

No bullshit. No celebrations. No spread offenses. No cowards